Tuesday, March 15, 2011

House Review: Out of the Chute

I can't believe I gave Wilson credit for cutting House loose in last week's episode. Wilson makes a jellyfish look like the Lord of all Vertebrates. If you look up the word "enabler" in the dictionary you won't find a picture of Wilson and that's because he missed the photo shoot so he could show up in the photo entry for "self-destructing addict" in the background enabling.

Cuddy, apparently, is the only one with any sense right now. I applauded her decision to kick House to the curb. If he's not willing to take responsibility for his own life then there is nothing that anyone can do about it. And preserving the status quo is not the answer.

What we get this week was House dealing with his recent breakup. And by dealing with, I mean not dealing with. He takes all of his money out of the bank, checks into a hotel, and sleeps with a different hooker every hour. And for some reason decides to stage an elaborate fake murder for the benefit of freaking out the concierge. I guess everyone copes in their own way. Of course, all of this boils down to an excuse to show some tna on some very cute girls, so I'm not exactly complaining.

The patient of the week was a bull rider who had some kind of medical mystery. The interesting thing about this story was that Annoying Girl developed a crush on him. You see, her prefrontal cortex recognized him as an evolutionary specimen capable of blah blah blah psychobabble. But considering that she's lived such a sheltered life and has probably never even been on a date before, her reaction was in keeping with her character. And it made her a little more human and kept her from being overtly annoying like usual. So, I kind of liked this angle. Maybe she can get laid so she can get over her naivete and stop her self-righteous finger wagging at Chase.

So, at the end of the episode, House looks like he's going to jump and kill himself. This is the completion of an arc, I suppose, a miniature arc at least, through which his character progressed in this episode. I've always described House as a petulant child, immature, needy, whiny and lashing out when things don't go his way. He's been stuck in the terrible twos for a while now. At the end of this episode, however, he begins behaving like a petulant teenager. So the writers did find a way to make him grow! I'm so proud of our little boy. Of course, this means that he's going to be increasingly risky with not just his own life but the lives of his patients, and he's going to lash out at Cuddy even more. "YOU JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND ME!" Slams door.

My question is: will Cuddy continue to show the same level of resolve and fire his ass when things get out of control?

Second question: The way they were all standing around in the pool at the end, it looked like he jumped into the shallow end. Wouldn't that have broken every bone in his body?

Monday, March 14, 2011

House Review: Bombshells

Everything old becomes new again.

At the end of last season House was sitting on the floor of his bathroom contemplating taking vicodin again. Last season he didn't, but only after Cuddy came in to save him. I remember thinking then that he had failed. You cannot rely on someone else to come in and save you like that. If he were truly going to beat his addiction that strength must come from himself. It must be his decision. As it was, with Cuddy coming in to save him, it made him completely dependent on her. Take her out of the equation and he would be right back where he was.

So, in a way, I'm glad that I was vindicated. On the other hand, this recent turn of events at the end of this episode explains a lot of what I've found so frustrating with House this season. I knew he was just circling the drain. I knew his relationship with Cuddy was doomed and that when that happened he would be right back where he was. There has been no growth and no character development. It's all been a waste of time as we've watched his hopelessly puerile antics edge him closer and closer to the edge.

Now, it is true that Gilligan can never leave the island or else there is no show, but in House's case, after, how many seasons now? I think it's different. We saw in this episode his friends turn their back on him. His team delt with the case of the week on their own and didn't want to bother House since he was dealing with his own crap. Wilson finally washed his hands of him after trying very hard to get him to do the right thing. And finally Cuddy cut him loose. All of these were the right things to do from their perspective. House has been using them all as enablers for years. But this leaves an important question: at what point does the audience follow suit? Are we going to stand by and watch House descend right back into drug addiction and misery . . . again? At one point House's self-centered and abrasive antics were charming but now he's just a drug addict. He's just a spoiled brat who chooses to be miserable. I just can't identify with him anymore. And his super powers as a doctor have been completely shot.

So where do they go from here? It seems either way the show was fucked. Either Gilligan gets off the island, thus forcing a permanent change in the show's structure, or you discover that there is no possible way for him to get off the island because he's been sabotaging the attempts all along, and that leads to a greater sense of apathy from the audience.

Oh, and the dream sequences bear mentioning. I actually kind of liked them, but they pretty much destroyed the mood of what should have been a very dramatic episode. It was like the writers didn't want you to take anything that was happening seriously (and that goes back to my apathy statement above.)

So ultimately this episode tied together a lot of the crap that I didn't like this season, making it one of the better episodes. However, the direction it seems to be going seems to be self-defeating. So I will have to wait to see how it all finally resolves.

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Smallville Review: Masquerade

Masquerade featured the theme of identity and the struggle with which our main characters contend.  Clark, after the many lost years of dragged-out dreck on this show, is finally coming to terms with his identity as the Blur.  He and Lois spend some time at the beginning of the episode trying to come up with a suitable disguise for him because up till now there has been little difference between Clark Kent and the Blur.  Clark acts heroic, and Lois is concerned that people might make the connection to his super hero secret.  This point is hammered home when Clark, as a not-so-mild-mannered reporter investigates a crime scene while the police are cleaning up.  They're practically on a first-name basis with him, and one little guy, let's call him Colin Creavey, has a case of the hero-worships for Clark and muses about whether Clark might actually be the Blur. 

The other little nerdy guy that Lois is bossing around also seems to have the hero-worships for Clark at the office and treats him with a great deal of respect.  This is transformed, quite well, I thought, at the end of the show when Clark realizes that the Blur is the real him, while Clark is actually the mask and he puts on the iconic glasses with which they have teased us in previous episodes.  And of course they realize that the glasses aren't enough. Clark Kent doesn't hide behind a pair of glasses at all.  He hides by acting so clutsy and average that no one pays much attention to him in the first place.  The little nerdy guy that Lois has been bossing around bumps into Clark (after he's wearing his "disguise") at the end and not only does he not recognize Clark, he treats Clark as a subordinate.  Mission accomplished.

The other thread of the identity theme is Chloe, who has been struggling with her place in the world after erasing herself from it.  She's struggling with her relationship with Oliver, and doesn't quite know how to think of them together.  It was fitting that they should be mistaken for a couple of undercover FBI agents.  The lead-in to this plot was a bit of a stretch in the coincidence department, but it turned out well, aside from the Mr. and Mrs. Smith-style fight scene with the two of them.

Desaad kidnaps Chloe and tempts her by running her through the seven deadly sins.  Chloe is resistant, though pride does seem to give her the most difficulty.  Oliver, however, gives right in to the sin of wrath.  What's in the box, indeed.  In this case it is a nice little Omega brand revealed to us at the very end of the episode, as we see that Oliver has indeed been corrupted.  I don't know where they're going with this interpretation of Darkseid, but at this point it seems a little Supernatural, though that may not necessarily be a bad thing.  The Darkseid mythos in the Superman comics could be extremely dark, and so far I feel like they've done a good job with capturing that, as the episodes featuring Darkseid's minions have felt more like horror than anything else.  And now that they have one the League on their side, I'm looking forward to what happens.  Hopefully it won't just be another "find the right shiny thing to point at the bad guy and send him away" like they've used in previous seasons.

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Crazy

Oh . . . my . . . God . . . .  You know, I can entertain some pretty crazy beliefs in all sorts of far out things like alien visitation and spontaneous combustion and esp and the theory of Atlantis and the Loch Ness Monster (if there's a steady pay check in it, I'll believe anything you say.)  But my God, and the God of the Baptists, but Mike Huckabee has crossed the line into utter lunatic-ville.  YOU DO NOT QUESTION THE BIRTHPLACE OF THE ONE!!!  Everyone knows that.  (Unless you're Michelle Obama, who has referred to Kenya as Obama's "home" on a few occasions.)  I mean, talk to me about 9/11 truther conspiracies and ancient alien theory all day long, but questioning the birth certificate?  My God, you've got to be certifiably insane.  That is loony to the bjillionth power times infinity is what that is.  My heart is still palpitating from the news.  Seriously.

In more serious news there appears to be at least one (and at this point, only one) member of the republican party with an actual pair of balls.  I am, of course, referring to Gov. Walker and his budget proposal that he just released tonight.  Let's see, he's slashing money to education, from colleges to K-12, propping up the voucher system, he's increasing money for health care, especially to the poor (but republicans HATE the POOR!  I know, I know) and slashing spending overall by 6.7 per cent.  I can only hope that he is starting a trend that continues in other states. 

And at the federal level, the GAO report shows that there is about 100 to 200 billion dollars in duplicative annual federal spending.  And the nutless wonders can barely cut 61 billion from their budget?  And flinched in the showdown over a possible government shut down because the democrats think that 61 billion is too draconian?  Aye carumba.

Oh, and Reason's Nanny of the Month for February is . . . drumroll . . .

House review: Recession Proof

I absolutely promise not to include any spoilers in this review. 

Now, House.  House, House, House.  I swear, his relationship with Cuddy has been the most juvenile piece of crap I've ever seen on tv.  I know that House is an emotionally-stunted and self-centered spoiled brat and that is part of his "charm" (and I use the word loosely) but the writers really missed a grand opportunity to use his relationship with Cuddy to show some kind of character growth in him.  I mean, seriously, his addiction to Vicadin used to be an integral part of the character and they allowed him to evolve past that.  Would it really be to much to ask to have him grow up?  Just a little? 

But no, his entire relationship is centered around making sex jokes to the woman he's supposedly in love with.  Last week I thought they might finally be advancing his character a little, because here  he was potentially learning that he was being a self-centered asshole and doing somehting nice for Cuddy to make it up to her.  I didn't review last week's, but I felt like their problems just came out of nowhere because the writers haven't been building anything up this season.  To be honest, I don't know what the writers have been doing this season.  But no, we're back to sex jokes and Cuddy smiling as though it's charming. 

I've always felt like Cuddy was a basket-case herself, though, with a severe mother complex and she just needs someone else to mommy, hence her attraction to House, the world's oldest and most self-centered infant.  The final scene of the episode was especially telling: House, drunk off his ass, with his head on Cuddy's lap.  "I'm right next to your vagina!" he says, but I would disagree in principle.  You're right next to her womb.  Because she has officially become your mother.

And so the plot is laid for next week, and I assume the approaching end of the season.  House has lost hs powers.  Again.  Haven't we done this story before?  I mean, he's like freaking Superman.  "You cannot love a mortal woman without becoming mortal yourself.  Now get in that chamber and give up your powers!"  House lost his powers when he went off Vicodin.  He lost his powers when he went back on Vicodin.  He lost his powers that time when Cuddy played a trick on him and convinced him that his diagnosis was wrong.  He lost his powers when they changed his carpet or moved his desk or whatever.  The point is that House is a delicate flower that needs to be nurtured (read: enabled) and if everyone doesn't kiss his ass then people die.  Except this time it's by his own choice. 

So does Lisa "Lois Lane" Cuddy accept that she is destroying the most brilliant mind on the entire planet and getting people killed, or does she sacrifice her great love for the greater good and break up with House once and for all.  It's drama!!  I assume he'd go back to being his miserable cynical self . . . but wait, did he ever give any of that up?  This season has seen him as miserable and cynical as ever.  And if he applied a fraction of the time to his cases as he does to fucking with everyone, he'd be saving peole left and right.  He might actually be able to take more than one case a week!  I thought it was rather telling in last wek's episode when the kids asked him, "So, if you only see on patient at a time, what do you do all day?"  Well, he certainly doesn't spend it diagnosing or working.  He spends it goofing off and preventing anyone else from doing any work.  And now rather than man up and accept that he doesn't actually do any work even when he is working, he's blaming it on his relationship with Cuddy. 

The subplots this week concerned Taub and Foreman living together and getting on each other's nerves.  Taub has become the show's official whipping boy, as he continues his descent into utter pathetic-ness.  Poop jokes are always amusing, and definitely fit with the juvenile nature of the show.  And the other subplot was continuing the trend of making Amber the most annoying character ever.  Seriously, is there anything that she doesn't pass judgment on and butt into?  Why is any of that crap any of her business in the first place?  And now they're dragging Chase into it.  I guess he misses Cameron so much that he's going to start putting the moves on the newest bleeding heart busy-body.  Or maybe they'll just become "friends?"  I don't know.  And, increasingly, I don't care.

Oh, and you know how I said at the beginning that I promised not to include any spoilers?  Well I lied!!  Because everyone lies!!  Get it?

Boo-yah

About a month ago I got into some bad, bad food poisoning (or at least I assume that's what it was) and got taken out for a while.  And then since I'm lazy I haven't been keeping up this stupid blog, but I am forcing myself!  Bully for self-discipline, no matter how belated.  I am saddened that I didn't get to offer my two cents ina  review for the cinematic masterpiece that was Megapython vs. Gatoroid, however, I do intend to begin reviewing shows again, as well as offering more insight into how much the democrats and republicans piss me off.  A clue: lots.  House review forthcoming!

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Mega Python vs. Gatoroid

Yes, this Saturday is the debut of Mega Python vs. Gatoroid on SyFy.  Oh yes.



GOP to push for D.C. gay marriage ban

Ok, this kind of thing just pisses me off.  The Hill is reporting that "Rep. Jim Jordan (R-Ohio), chairman of the conservative Republican Study Committee (RSC), told The Hill that he will push for a vote on the controversial issue in the 112th Congress."  /sigh.  IT'S ABOUT FISCAL RESPONSIBILITY YOU IDIOTS!  NOT YOUR OUTDATED SOCIAL AND MORALITY CRAP.  I think it's the height of hypocrisy to claim you're in favor of smaller government but then turn around and start telling people what they can and can't do in their personal lives.  I'm already disappointed with Jim DeMint, and was hoping that there would be enough of a libertarian streak in the tea party to counteract this sort of thing.  But who knows?  At the least it'll be interesting to see what happens.  Will libertarians get turned off by the endless moralizing of the religious right and go back to voting democrat?  I know that I'm a fairly hardcore libertarian and I don't think I'll ever vote democrat again.  But libertarians do tend to be a fickle bunch.  The problem is that the democratic party has moved so far to the left that they basically are socialists at this point.  Personally I'd like to see them, along with all liberals, marginalized to the point of extinction.  We'd be left with a debate between the more libertarian among us and the so-cons, at which point we'd trump them with the constitution.  So how about putting your money where your mouth is and respecting that document, eh?  Leave the issue of marriage to the states and get the federal government out of it. (Of course I'm aware that congress has the constitutional authority to legislate over D.C.; I'm really speaking of the issue of gay marriage in general, which I'll get to in the next paragraph.)  This isn't the time for this debate though.  There are far more pressing issues.


As a side note, I would personally like to see the government out of marriage entirely.  I do understand where the so-cons are coming from though.  It looks like the liberals are trying to use the issue of gay marriage to muscle their way into being able to tell churches what to do.  And I'm not in favor of that, especially when I know it won't be applied evenly.  Catholics who don't want to acknowledge gay marriage are homophobic bigots and must be forced to change.  Muslims who don't want to acknowledge gay marriage are simply protecting their rights to religious freedom and if you're against that then you're an Islamaphobic bigot.  However, from the other side, it looks like the so-cons are trying to have it both ways.  Marriage is defined as both a religious rite as well as a legal contract.  I think this is wrong too.  If we really want to solve the gay marriage debate, I am in favor of separating the religious and legal definitions of marriage entirely.  Everyone, straight or gay, would get a civil union for legal purposes as a contract between two consenting adults.  Churches, then, would be free to choose for themselves if they wish to acknowledge gay marriage.  Some will, and some won't.  People who don't like gays are free to belong to churches that don't, and gays and people who don't care are free to belong to churches that do.

State of the Union

And tonight's the state of the union address.  Yawn.  The pundits are asking what should he say, what should he say, oh what should he say?  But it's meaningless.  Everything he says, so long as he's on script, is completely meaningless.  I'm far more interested in listening to what Paul Ryan's got to say in his response.  Michele Bachmann . . . well, she shore is purdy, but I think we can do without it. 

Let's see.  In other news, the AP is reporting  that Government Motors has a chance of overtaking Toyota in worldwide sales.  Well, considering massive government funding and an all out assault on Toyota from congress and the media last year that's not too surprising.  Now, it's true that Toyota's US sales slightly declined from last year, (and, again, considering the amount of bad press against them, not too surprising) but their worldwide sales were up 18.7% and their worldwide revenues were up 17.8%.  In the first two quarters of FY2011 Toyota's net revenue for automotive operations were a little over 100 billion (after converting to dollars, the actual number is 8,863.6 billion yen) while GM revenues for the same two quarters were 62.2 billion.  GM, in the meantime, is investing 540 million into opening an engine plant in Mexico.  So make sure you look for that union label.

The global warming alarmists continue to marginalize themselves with headlines that look like they could have been ripped form the Onion.  Was Ginghis Khan history's greenest conqueror? That would, of course, make republicans worse than Genghis Khan (we already know they're worse than Hitler) for slashing Nancy Pelosi's "Green the Capitol" program. 

House review: "Carrot or Stick"

The theme of this week's episode is, as evident from the title, punishment and reinforcement.  Discipline.  The case of the week is a Marine drill instructor running a camp for troubled youths who collapses while running them through an obstacle course.  Medical mystery ensues, heightened when one of the youths, the one he rides the hardest, is admitted to the hospital with identical symptoms.  As such, the case of the week is, once again, rather boring, and the main mystery is in figuring out how the two cases are related.  And they are related, because the Marine is really the kid's long-lost father.  I guess they made him black as a red herring?

Mostly, however, the drill instructor is there to prompt the House vs. Someone on the Team ethical dilemma of the week.  This week it's the annoying new girl who is at this point rivaling Cameron for the most annoying House character ever.  At least Cameron used to be interesting before she became such a bleeding heart whiner.  This girl, well, not so much.  So they have to squeeze as much annoying out of her before the return of Thirteen, whenever she comes back.  So, Annoying Girl thinks that the drill instructor is a big bully.  She attempts to connect with the kid by bleeding her heart onto him, and he tries to steal her car.  Natch.

House isn't quite as gloaty as last week, however, because he has his own concerns.  Cuddy wants her daughter to get into a nice preschool and House, like the audience, knows that poor Rachel is as dumb as dirt.  So he begins his own training regime in line with the theme of the episode with some old fashioned behavioral conditioning to teach her the toys she'll be playing with when she "auditions" for the preschool.  I guess we're supposed to be appalled that he's using a dog training device on her, but for House this was pretty tame.  And it's not that he cares about the kid, it's that he doesn't want to console Cuddy when Rachel gets rejected.  Because House is so emotionally stunted he can't (or more likely won't, due do his being such a steadfast ideologue) admit that he cares about anyone.  And in the end, he's not so much impressed with the fact that Rachel is able to wow the preschool as he is that she's able to lie so easily about her training to Cuddy.  So already, the full machinations of House's cancerous and cynical personality are at work on her young mind.  And he's so proud of himself.

The "other" plot of the week, since last week centered around Taub and his impending divorce, involves Chase and a "revealing" picture of him that some mysterious person posted onto his social networking page.  He figures out that it happened the night of the wedding reception when he had a foursome and tracks down the girls one by one.  You see, actions have consequences.  That's the point of discipline.  That's the lesson of the week, children.  You have to take responsibility for what you do, and having a foursome is clearly a bad thing that will bite you in the ass and humiliate you in front of everyone.  Eventually.  So it turns out that the person who took the picture is one of the girls' sister, or something, and she's doing it because Chase talked to her at the bar and wasn't interested after she said she doesn't fuck on the first date.  And clearly this is reason to punish him by hacking his account and locking him out of it, posting a nude and doctored picture of him, advertising his love for large women, and using his credit card to make a 2,500 dollar donation.  Because he wasn't interested in her at the wedding reception.  After talking for only a few minutes.  And what is Chase's response to this overt act of flagrant psycho bitch syndrome?  Well, he asks her on a date, of course.  I don't know . . . were we supposed to think she was clever?  That Chase's punishment was justified?  The guy just had a good time with some no-strings fun and no one got hurt.  I have a feeling this plot line isn't over yet.  To great detriment, I'm afraid.

One thing that really bugged me, and it always bugs me, is at the end the psycho bitch uses "negative reinforcement" wrong.  She means punishment.  Negative reinforcement is when you remove something negative, and serves as a reward to increase the likelihood of a behavior.  Punishment is causing something bad, to decrease the likelihood of a behavior.  I would expect the writers of House, since it is a medical show and all, to know the difference.  But no, they fall into the trap of using a phrase that sounds like it's a fancy way of saying punishment.  It's not.  The only person allowed to make that mistake is Peter Venkman.

Monday, January 24, 2011

speaking of villainous simians

speaking of villainous simians, this video's been making the rounds:

  


And of course it would be remiss of me not to bring up this one, which happens to be one of my favorite songs.  Enjoy every sandwich.


Monkey Grodd

When you're this good it's probably more than luck, despite the macaque's name. 

So I find myself wondering about the famous simian villains that may have served as inspiration to our prison-break primate.  Of course we have the famous Flash villain Gorilla Grodd.  Grodd uses mind control, and may explain why Lucky was able to get past his prison guard so easily.  The cleaner just happened to "allow" him to escape while cleaning his cage?  Hmmmm?  

We have Mojo Jojo of the Powerpuff Girls, a genius simian with an enlarged brain.  I'm not sure about him . . . so far Lucky seems to eschew the more elaborate plans involving giant robots and prefers the far simpler approach of simply biting people during his reigns of terror. 

And of course there's Hollywood's favorite giant gorilla monster in King Kong, who caused a lot of destruction but ultimately he was just misunderstood.  He wasn't an evil genius at all and I'm not sure why he's even on this list.  I guess mindless destruction has its good points as well, though, and I wish Lucky all the best.